‘Community over competition’: New sorority members reflect on sisterhood, growth, finding home
Bid Day at Oklahoma State is a storm of noise and color.
Signs with hand-painted letters stretch above the crowd, music spills from loudspeakers and students sprint across Library Lawn into the arms of their new sisters. Laughter mixes with tears in the chaos, a mix of relief, exhaustion and joy that caps off one of the most intense weeks of the year.
For Jadyn Payne, the moment came with a sense of disbelief.
“Honestly, I don't know if there's ever been a time where I questioned if I could read,” she joked, remembering the instant she saw her Zeta Tau Alpha bid card.
Behind the humor was relief. Recruitment week is long, emotional and filled with uncertainty. For many women, it becomes more than just choosing a chapter. It is a process of discovering who they are and where they feel at home.
Kalei Kellogg, now a member of Kappa Delta, said the experience was draining but transformative.
“It was definitely exhausting and emotional, but in the best way possible,” she said. “I grew as a person… I got a glimpse into what I want my life in college to look like.”
She remembers walking into the KD house during rounds and being surprised at her own reaction.
“Every time I visited KD, I would get tears in my eyes…" Kellogg said. "They made such an impact on me.”
That impact is part of what keeps recruitment unpredictable. Gracie Giles said she never expected to join Kappa Delta.
“KD wasn’t on my radar at all,” she said. “But by pref round, I knew it felt like home. That simple piece of paper changed the trajectory of my college career and honestly my life.”
Payne’s path looked different. She knew from early in the process where she wanted to be.
“Zeta was the only place I felt like I could be myself, they were just real,” she said. “I did a suicide bid… I had to hope that Zeta would give me one.”
The risk paid off, but it was not guaranteed. National Panhellenic Conference data shows that around 72% of women receive bids from their first-choice sorority, but those who submit only one option, known as a “suicide bid,” can be left unmatched.
That thin line between hope and disappointment makes the moment of running home even more powerful. What matters more than the bid card itself, the women said, is what comes after.
For Giles, sisterhood is what makes it different from any other student organization.
“It was more community over competition,” she said. “We rise by lifting others. When I got there, Molly Kate said, ‘Gracie, you’re home.’”
Kellogg echoed that feeling, saying that belonging does not mean avoiding challenges.
“Sisterhood means being held accountable, and feeling wanted,” she said. “Running home felt like everyone was so connected… even though we were all in different houses.”
Payne described it as something that stretches far past the excitement of Bid Day.
“It felt like running home to my mom or my best friend,” she said. “Sisterhood means someone who's in your corner, when you're at 100% or running on 2% during finals week.”
Research shows those bonds matter. A study published in the Journal of College Student Development found sorority women report higher levels of social support and are more likely to stay enrolled in college than non-affiliated students. It is one reason Panhellenic chapters continue to emphasize the personal growth side of Greek life, pushing back against stereotypes that reduce sororities to parties and social status.
That push is visible at OSU. As of 2024, Panhellenic includes 13 chapters with nearly 4,000 members, making it one of the largest student communities on campus. Recruitment has shifted toward what officials call “values-based conversations,” encouraging women to focus less on image and more on long-term connections.
The message resonates with new members like Giles, who said the most important lesson she learned from the week was that Greek life is not meant to pit women against each other. Kellogg agreed, saying she felt support not just within her own chapter but across the Greek community.
“Even when I was running home to KD, it felt like everyone was so connected, no matter where you ended up,” she said. “That sense of shared belonging reflects the growing focus on unity across chapters, a recognition that sisterhood can exist both inside and outside the letters.”
The numbers also show how significant the community has become. OSU Greek Life estimates that between 25% and 30% of undergraduate women are part of a Panhellenic sorority. Nationally, studies show Greek women often report higher GPAs than their peers and benefit from alumni networks that stretch far beyond campus. Payne said those broader benefits mattered less to her than the simple fact that she felt accepted.
“Zeta was the only place I could be myself,” she said. “They just made me feel real.”
Looking ahead, OSU’s Panhellenic community is expected to keep growing, both in size and diversity. Members say the evolution of recruitment reflects a larger cultural shift. Payne described sisterhood as honest and true friendship, the kind of support that comes not just from family but from the people you choose and who choose you back. Kellogg said she wanted accountability, faith and connection, and already feels she has found that. For Giles, the experience can be summed up in one phrase.
“It was more community over competition,” she said.
In the end, that is what Bid Day comes down to for the women who live it. Not the noise, not the chants, not the letters painted on poster board. It is the quiet relief in knowing you have found your place.
